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The Best of You
Adopt a Sunnah #22

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One of the great expositions of Almighty Allah’s divinity is the creation of the spouse. The system of procreation is in itself unique as well as divine. Mind boggling is the fact that the entire human race has been extracted from a single couple; Nabie Adam u and Sayyidah Hawwa radiallahu anha .  Some relationships can only be nurtured with love. Other relationships need added compassion or loyalty.

Encapsulating all of the above, Allah Ta’ala says: “And of the signs of His (supremacy) is that He has created for you spouses from your own kind, so that you may attain tranquility there from. He has also created between you (the spouses) love and compassion. Indeed in these are signs for those who ponder.”  (Surah Rum: 21 )

Once, upon learning of some husbands abusing their wives, Nabie salallahu alayhi wasallam said: “The best of you is he who is the best towards his wife” (Sahih Ibn Hibbaan, #4186, 4177 )

In one narration Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam said: “Those (who abuse their wives) are not the best of you.”  (Sunan Abi Dawud, #2139 )

He salallahu alayhi wasallam even said: “I am the best among you towards my wives.”

The question is : which of the two contrasting titles do we deserve?!

Just as our beloved Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam was a role model for outside the home, so too was he a model within the home. The extent of his flexibility with his beloved wives actually sets the tone for compassion and understanding in every marriage!

Love, like every other thing, is despised only when applied in the incorrect manner. But if it is articulated in the proper way, one is actually rewarded for it.

Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam being the paragon that he is, even raced with his beloved wife, Sayyidatuna ‘Ayeshah radiallahu anha . She says: “He did so on two occasions, once allowing me to outrun him. (Sunan Abi Dawud, #2571; Sahih Ibn Hibbaan, #4691 )

Despite his unimaginable burden of Prophethood and Leadership, “Whenever Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam would be at home, he would always have a smile on his blessed face.” (Tabaqat Ibn Sa’d) He would assist in the daily chores. (Sahih Bukhari #676)

How often do we do so...?

She further elaborates: “He (would express his love by even) drinking from the same side of the cup as I did . He would even lie in my lap and recite Qur’an”. (Sahih Muslim # 690-691)

Did such acts of love ever cross our minds?!

The exhortation of Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam towards considering the rights of the wife are so many that practically every book of hadith has a complete chapter dedicated to this topic. In fact, Imam Nasai rehmatullah alayh and others have compiled separate books on this.

Perhaps the magnitude of importance that Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wasallam attached to this could be understood from the fact that he distinctively reminded the ummat of it during his final sermon. His words were: “Behold! Treat your wives kindly, for they are only with you to fulfil your needs...if they are obedient to you, then do not search for reasons to ill-treat them. Behold! Like you have rights over your wives, so do they upon you.. Their rights are: that you are kind towards them as well as feed and clothe them. (Sunan Tirmidhi, #1163)

Ignorance of these sublime sunnats and failure to  adopt them have led to the alarming rise in marital breakdowns…!

The code  of conduct for a Muslim husband is quite clear; He never resorts to physical or even verbal abuse. (Sunan Abi Dawud #2137) Unfortunate are those who fail in this regard. It is they who are not “the best of you”!