Experiences of a Recently Converted
Hindu Woman
I came from a purely Hindu family where we were
always taught to regard ourselves (i.e. women) as beings who were eventually to
be married off and have children and serve the husband, whether he was kind or
not. Other than this, I found that there were a lot of things, which really
oppressed women, such as: If a woman was widowed, she would always have to wear
a white sari costume, eat vegetarian meals, cut her hair short, and never
re-marry. The bride always had to pay the dowry (bridal money) to the husband’s
family. And the husband could ask for anything, irrespective of whether the
bride would have difficulty giving it.
Not only that, if after marriage she was not able to pay the full dowry she
would be both emotionally and physically tortured, and could end up being a
victim of “kitchen death” where the husband, or both the mother-in-law and the
husband try to set fire to the wife while she is cooking or is in the kitchen,
and try to make it look like an accidental death. More and more of these
instances are taking place. The daughter of a friend of my own fathers had the
same fate last year!
In addition to all this, men in Hinduism are treated literally as among the
gods. In one of the religious Hindu celebration, unmarried girls pray for and
worship an idol representing a particular god (Shiva) so that they may have
husbands like him. Even my own mother had asked me to do this. This made me see
that the Hindu religion which is based on superstitions and things that have no
manifest proof, but were merely traditions which oppressed women could not be
right.
Subsequently, when I came to England to study, I thought that at least this is a
country, which gives equal rights to men and women, and does not oppress them.
We all have the freedom to do, as we like, I thought. Well, as I started to meet
people and make new friends, learn about this new society, and go to all the
places my friends went to in order to “socialize” (bars, dance halls, ...etc.),
I realized that this “equality” was not so true in practice as it was in theory.
Outwardly, women were seen to be given equal rights in education, work, and so
forth, but in reality women were still oppressed in a different, subtler way.
When I went with my friends to those places they hung out at, I found everybody
interested to talk to me and I thought that was normal. But it was only later
that I realized how naive I was, and recognized what these people were really
looking for. I soon began to feel uncomfortable, as if I was not myself: I had
to dress in a certain way so that people would like me, and had to talk in a
certain way to please them. I soon found that I was feeling more and more
uncomfortable, less and less myself, yet I could not get out. Everybody was
saying they were enjoying themselves, but I don’t call this enjoying. I think
women in this way of life are oppressed; they have to dress in a certain way in
order to please and appear more appealing, and also talk in a certain way so
people like them.
During this time I had not thought about Islam, even though I had some Muslim
acquaintances. But I felt I really had to do something, to find something that I
would be happy and secure with, and would feel respected with. Something to
believe in that is the right belief, because everybody has a belief that they
live according to. If having fun by getting off with other people is someone’s
belief, they do this. If making money is someone’s belief, they do everything to
achieve this. If they believe drinking is one way to enjoy life then they do it.
But I feel all this leads to nowhere; no one is truly satisfied, and the respect
women are looking for is diminishing in this way.
In these days of so called ‘society of equal rights,” you are expected to have a
boyfriend (or you’re weird!) and to not be a virgin. So this is a form of
oppression even though some women do not realize it. When I came to Islam, it
was obvious that I had finally found permanent security. A religion, a belief
that was so complete and clear in every aspect of life.
How I find that Islam does not Oppress Women:
Many people have a misconception that Islam is an oppressive religion, where
women are covered from head to toe, and are not allowed any freedom or rights.
In fact, women in Islam are given more rights, and have been for the past 1400
years, compared to the only recently rights given to non-Muslim women in some
western and some other societies. But there are, even now, societies where women
are still oppressed, as I mentioned earlier in relation to Hindu women that
Muslim women have the right to inheritance. They have the right to run their own
trade and business. They have the full right to ownership, property, disposal
over their wealth to which the husband has no right. They have the right to
education, a right to refuse marriage as long as this refusal is according to
reasonable and justifiable grounds.
The Quran itself, which is the word of Allah, contains many verses commanding
men to be kind to their wives and stressing the rights of women. Islam gives the
right set of rules, because they are NOT made by men, but made by Allah; hence
it is a perfect religion.
Quite often Muslim women are asked why they are covered from head to toe (except
the face and the hands), and are told that this is oppression! It is not. In
Islam, marriage is an important part of life, the making of the society.
Therefore, a woman should not go around showing herself to everybody, only for
her husband. Even the man is not allowed to show certain parts of his body to
none but his wife. In addition, Allah has commanded Muslim women to cover
themselves for their modesty: “O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and
the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when
outdoors). That is most convenient that they could be known as such (i.e. decent
and chaste) and not molested.” (Qur’an 33:59).
If we look around at any other society, we find that in the majority of cases
women are attacked and molested because of how they are dressed. Another point
I’d like to comment on is that the rules and regulation laid down in Islam by
Allah (God) do not apply just to women but to men also. There is no
intermingling and free running between men and women for the benefit of both.
Whatever Allah commands is right, wholesome, pure and beneficial to mankind;
there is no doubt about that.
A verse in the Quran explains this concept clearly: “Say to the believing men
that they should lower their gaze and protect their private parts (i.e. from
indecency, illegal sexual acts); that will make for greater purity for them. And
Allah is well aware of what they do. And say to the believing women that they
should lower their gaze and protect their private parts (from indecency, illegal
sexual intercourse); and that they should not display their beauty and
ornaments....” (Quran, Surah “Al-Nur” 24:31).
When I put on my Hijab (veil), I was really happy to do it. In fact, I really
want to do it. When I put on the Hijab, I felt a great sense of satisfaction and
happiness. Satisfied that I had obeyed Allah’s command. And happy with the good
and blessings that come with it. I have felt secure and protected. In fact
people respect me more for it. I could really see the difference in behavior
towards me.
Finally, I’d like to say that I had accepted Islam not blindly, or under any
compulsion. In the Qur’an itself there is a verse which says “There is no
compulsion in religion.” I accepted Islam with conviction. I have seen, been
there, done that, and seen both sides of the story. I know and have experienced
what the other side is like, and I know that I have done the right thing.
Islam does not oppress women, but rather Islam liberates them and gives them the
respect they deserve. Islam is the religion Allah has chosen for the whole of
mankind. Those who accept it are truly liberated from the chains and shackles of
mankind whose ruling and legislating necessitates nothing but the oppression of
one group by another and the exploitation and oppression of one sex by the
other.
This is not the case of Islam, which truly liberated women and gave them
individuality not given by any other authority.
Sister Noor has been a Muslim for over a year and
a half and is currently in her second year of undergraduate study in the
Department of Biology.
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