Q: What advice or reasoning one could give to a Muslim girl who has made up her mind to marry a Christian. She knows this is not permitted in Islam but thinks that it is no different than not praying or fasting.
A: JazakAllah for the mail you have submitted to the institute.
It is indeed very painful and heartbreaking for every Muslim when this sort of news reaches us. Allah Ta'ala does not lead us astray but when we ourselves follow Shaitaan and sell (trade) our souls, (like Dr. Faust did with the devil), then we are surely lost. This is the most destructive trade any Muslim can make with shaitaan, for he is most pleased with this excellent bargain. It is a total BARGAIN for him because he has to put in very little effort after he has delivered the first dart into a Muslim's heart. I say this not in judgment of the young lady, but out of regret that any Muslim should find herself/himself in this situation.
I actually find it very difficult sitting here, so far away from the circumstances of the situation to really pontificate as to what has led the young lady to make this decision. No doubt many learned and concerned family members and friends have tried to dissuade her from making this move. All over the world, kuffar women are turning to Islam as they are disenchanted and have lost direction in their lives. Practicing Christian, Hindu or even Jewish women are realizing that Islam had given rights over 1,400 years ago to Muslim women whereas the other religions have ferreted away their rights. Many of them reveal that their paramount reason for accepting Islam is, "The high status and respect Islam has given to women". These women recognize what we, the born Muslim women fail to realize and appreciate.
Allah Ta’ala states, ‘And a slave (not even a free person) with Imaan is better than a Mushrik even though he seems good to you.’
I have decided to send you an article about there being "No Compulsion in Religion" and another article about how a Murtad is dealt with. (available somewhere on this site) If possible aspects of these two articles can be highlighted to her. This situation is truly a test for all concerned. My suggestion is that the family should try to continue to maintain ties with the lady and go on encouraging her and her intended husband to accept Islam in its pure form.
My thoughts when I hear of any Muslim woman wanting to give up her elevated status are, does she really not know that when she was born Allah Ta'ala sent angels to her parent's home? They specifically wrapped their wings around her and prayed for her protection and FOR her welfare? Is she aware that her mere presence in her parent's home brought about greater blessings for her parents and her father was promised greater favours in the hereafter for protecting and educating her and for attending to her welfare?
Is she aware that if she practices Islam with true submission to the Will of Allah Ta'ala and if she raises her children with deen firmly imprinted in their hearts, she will have raised an army for Islam. It is said a father brings knowledge to the doorstep of his house. The mother is the one who is the first school and mentor to her children. Just as Jannah lies under her feet, her contribution to her children's Islamic upbringing raises her status further in Allah Ta'ala's court. The first person to be prepared to die under duress for Islam was a woman. Sumayya (RA) was the first martyr for Islam. These days we women don't have to meet death to become martyrs for Islam. We just need to obey and submit sincerely to Allah Ta'ala's commandments, play our role in the community of Muslims according to Allah Ta'ala's laws and follow the teachings of Nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam). All that is required of us is to please Allah Ta'ala through our beliefs and actions.
My appeal to this young lady who is contemplating marrying out of the fold of Islam is: Even if you have to sacrifice everything you own or aspire to, don't give up the greatest gift you have been given or will ever have. The greatest gift you have had since your soul was created and since you entered this world is the gift of IMAAN.
Nothing in this world can be or should be of greater value to you than your Imaan. No man or woman can be worth the price of loosing your Imaan. The love, the noor, the blessings and the rahmah of Allah ta'ala are with you whilst you are a Muslim. Do not extinguish this light, do not plunge yourself into darkness. Nor reject Allah ta'ala's love for you. You most certainly will never find a greater love than that of Allah ta'ala's love for you.
You most certainly will not find a lover more willing to give to you, unconditionally, without any expectation of payback. Man is a perishable commodity, prone to illness, weakness, lethargy, fallibility and much worse...death! If a man cannot sustain himself, how is he going to sustain you? A man will leave you at some stage in your life. Allah ta'ala will never abandon you. Even though you may become forgetful, negligent and ungrateful, he will be yours as long as you want him to be yours. He will be for you whatever your expectation is of him. He will sustain you throughout your life on earth and beyond, in your grave and in the hereafter.
Even if you had to lose all your material possessions and your family, you would still be the most fortunate woman because you will have your Imaan and Allah ta'ala with you.
Sister, if you have the man of your choice at the moment, all your worldly possessions, all your talents, your beauty, your health and wealth, but if you abandon your Imaan, in essence you will have nothing of value in this world nor in the hereafter. Allah ta'ala will not forsake you, but if you make the choice of turning away from him, then you will lose everything as i have just mentioned. What you will then have with you will be valueless and of no avail to you as they are all perishable commodities.
Do not
abandon your life and Imaan for perishable commodities. You are young, you have
time and a whole life ahead of you. Trust Allah ta'ala and put your full faith
in him. It is still not too late to turn to your creator. He most certainly has
not turned away from you yet.
Place your future in Allah ta'ala's care and wait till the man
you choose to marry accepts
You will do all this purely for the pleasure and love of Allah ta'ala. For no other reason than to attain closeness to your creator by humbly affirming to him, "My Lord, I hear and I obey."
My
sister, you are experiencing a spiritual
Allah ta'ala's most beloved creation, nabi muhammad (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) brought the final message of Allah ta'ala to us. We belong to the ummah of this great prophet (sallalaahu alayhi wassallam). The books and the injunctions which came with previous prophets were abrogated with his arrival. Thus we as Muslims have to take his messages forward to future generations, not discard his messages.
When a Muslim couple marry, they not only make a commitment to each other, they also make a commitment to Allah ta'ala. Afterall, marriage is an act of ibadah (worship) and the couple fulfill a lofty responsibility through marriage.
All that is needed of you is to obey and submit to Allah ta'ala's will. To practice upon the teachings of nabi (sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) and never ever to give in to shaitaan's whisperings and evil. May Allah ta'ala guide you to make a correct decision, not for the sake of pleasing your parents or any human being, but only for Allah ta'ala's pleasure. May Allah ta'ala guide you to walk away from this great temptation shaitaan has placed before you and may Allah ta'ala keep your footsteps firmly on the straight path.
May Allah ta'ala use you for his deen and may he grant you the ability to assist other Muslim sisters who are tempted by shaitaan in this cruel manner.
You are Allah ta'ala's beloved. Remain his beloved till death takes you closer to him and insha'Allah you will be a very special woman in Jannah with a very high status in the hereafter. Ameen, thumma ameen.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best